Hogwarts Uncensored Episode1
by Draco666
Summary: What does Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Cho, and Snape have in common. Read and find out.Please R&R!


A/N: I want don't Harry Potter and the WWE or Jerry Springer.  
  
Hogwarts Uncensored Episode 1  
  
A camera peers down on an audience of Hogswarts students in chairs and They are clapping then the camera moves on Dumbledore.  
  
Dumbledore: Welcome back, thank you. On today's show, we have a couple of students caught in a love triangle, one student who can't get along his teacher and today they're to settle the score!  
  
The crowd goes wild, clapping and whistling.  
  
Dumbledore: Our first guest. Please welcome Ron Weasley.  
  
Ron comes out from a side door in the great hall and sits at the staff table, which has been turned into a stage with five chairs.  
  
Dumbledore: Tell us what's going on?  
  
Ron: Well, I've been dating Hermione since our 3rd year and we now in our 5th. Everything was well. Lately she been acting strange, as I understand it she told you that she has to tell me something.  
  
Dumbledore: Hermione, come out.  
  
Hermione comes out sits next to Ron.  
  
Dumbledore: How are you, Hermione?  
  
Hermione: I'm fine.  
  
Dumbledore: Tell Ron why he's here.  
  
Hermione turns to Ron and holds his hand.  
  
Hermione: Well, you think I've been acting weird. I have because I don't think we should be together anymore. Ron: What are you talking about?  
  
Hermione: I have someone else.  
  
Ron: Who?  
  
Dumbledore: Come on out!  
  
All of sudden Draco comes out and kisses Hermione on cheek.  
  
Dumbledore: You are here to talk to Hermione?  
  
Draco: Yes, I am. Hermione you know I love with all my heart and....  
  
Let's skip the "I love you" speech and get to the real reason why he is here.  
  
Draco: Hermione, I've been sleeping with Ron for five months.  
  
Hermione: You what! How dare you!  
  
Ron: What goes around comes around.  
  
Ron gets up and sits on Draco lap. Hermione looks she's about to go crazy.  
  
Dumbledore: We'll be after these messages.  
  
Cheesy talk show music plays and everyone claps with amazement between Ron, Hermione, and Draco. Aaah, the wonderful world of commercials.  
  
Male Wizard: Have you ever been board on the weekends. Well get yourself a Blow-Up Muggle. Blow- up Muggle allows you to whatever you want. You can torture it, throw it party. Do whatever you want. Blow-up Muggle get yours today. Only twenty Galleons. (If you get caught with ,don't say you got it from us.)  
  
And the wizard smiles at the camera.  
  
Dumbledore: Welcome back us meet our next guess. Please meet Harry Potter. He says that he doesn't like his Potions Teacher. Why Harry?  
  
Harry: Snape is the biggest greasy git fuck I have ever known. He doesn't know what he is talking about. I'm just here to tell him to stop making me look stupid in front of everybody that's all.  
  
Dumbledore-Snape come on out  
  
Snape comes out from the side door. He sits next to Harry.  
  
Snape- What is my business here?  
  
Dumbledore- Harry has something to tell you.  
  
Snape- What is it Potter?  
  
Harry- I want to tell you are an asshole. I am sick and tired of you pushing me around.  
  
Snape- Well, Potter wasn't say last night, when I had you screaming my name.  
  
The crowd ooohs and aaahs  
  
Dumbledore- is this true, Harry?  
  
Harry- It only happened once  
  
Dumbledore- Explain, Harry  
  
Audience- Yes, please explain!  
  
Harry- Well, I went to Snape office  
  
Snape- Professor  
  
Harry- Whatever. I went to his office because I suck at potions. I had to take redmial potions.  
  
Do you want me to skip his line? I know I do. Anyway  
  
Harry- There was something wrong with the smell because I felt funny. Like I had the urge and before I knew it me and Severus was on the floor.  
  
Ron-Wait a minute, that also happened to me  
  
Hermione-Me too  
  
Draco- it also happened to me  
  
What the hell just happen? Let's move on shall we.  
  
Dumbledore- Are there any question from the audience?  
  
Seamus put up his hand and Dumbledore runs to him  
  
Dumbledore-Yes  
  
Seamus- I don't care for anybody. All I want to know is Hermione are we still on for tomorrow?  
  
Ron was outrayed he picked up a chair and threw it at Seamus  
  
Ron-Bitch!.  
  
Ron went to fight Seamus but Draco held him  
  
Seamus- don't let your boyfriend hold you back.  
  
Ron broke free from Draco and started fighting Seamus in the crowd.  
  
Ron- Don't- ever-ask-my-girl-out-again  
  
Hermione- I'm not your girl anymore!  
  
Dumbledore called for security, Guess who sercurity was? None other than Crabbe and Goyle. Anyway they managed to get Ron back to chair.  
  
Dumbledore- Any questions?  
  
Pansy puts her hand up. Dumbledore does to her.  
  
Pansy- Hi mom.(Waving at the camera.) I want to know how this all started?  
  
Ron- I guess mines started with Hermione.  
  
Draco- Mine too.  
  
Pansy- Harry?  
  
Harry- Mine started with Hermione also.  
  
Rewind! What did he just say!?  
  
Harry- Mine started with Hermione also.  
  
Draco- What are you talking about?  
  
Harry- After I went with her. I did what I had to do. (He winked at the camera.) She suggested that I go to Snape.  
  
Snape- I'm leaving.  
  
Snape leaves the stage and the crowd boos at him.  
  
Dumbledore- Minerva just told me that we have a special guest. Who ever you are, come on out.  
  
Cho comes out and goes straight for Harry and she slaps him in the face.  
  
Cho- You asshole. I can't believe you. Hermione?!  
  
Harry- We was drunk. Besides I saw you and Ron in the broom closet yesterday. Did I say anything? No.  
  
Hermione- Cho how could you!  
  
Cho- Oh please he wasn't that good anyway.  
  
Hermione jumps on Cho so now their fighting. Ron and Draco went to breakup the fight but somehow got drag in, so now their fighting. Don't ask. Harry tried to sneak away but Draco grab the back of his robes and pulled him in because he was the only one left. The stage turned into a wrestling ring. It was choas. Tables,Ladders,and Chairs. Anything that can cause pain one another. The crowd went wild. (They was even betting on who was going to win.)  
  
George- My money on Hermione.  
  
Fred- Mine is on Harry.  
  
Ginny- Mine is on Draco because Ron sucks.  
  
Dean- That is true.  
  
Hermione powerbombed Cho through a table. Draco hit Ron in the head with a chair. Harry gave Draco the Stone Cold Stunner, somehow Cho got up and kicked Harry in the face. Cho was the only one standing. When she turned around Hermione gave her the spear.  
  
Fred- Ah! I told you, now give me my money.  
  
George an Ginny gave Fred two Galleons each. They continued to fight throwing signs, cups, and sticks at each other. Then a man puts his hands up Dumbledore raced over. Guess who it was? None other than Vince McMahon himself. Hoe did he get into Hogwarts. It must be a long story, let's not get into that.  
  
Dumbledore- Your question, sir?  
  
Vince- How would you all like to work for the WWE.  
  
Everyone stopped fighting.  
  
Ron- How much will we make?  
  
Vince- Lot's of money.  
  
Everyone- Sure!  
  
Then they stated fighting again and Ron did a somersault on Draco but when he did it knocked the camera man down. The camera rolled face-up showing Neville.  
  
Neville- I have a question. Can't we all just get along?  
  
Everyone- Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!  
  
Dumbledore- I wouldn't talk if I was you, Neville.  
  
Neville- Why?  
  
Dumbledore- Because your on tomorrow's show.  
  
Neville- Why is it always me?  
  
Minerva- Turn in tomorrow for another episode of Hogwarts Uncensored. When Trevor the toad confronts Neville and a very special appearance by You-Know- Who (People started to run for their lives) No not today its tomorrow. You know what 5 points from anyone who is running away. (Everybody stopped running.) Like I was saying he will reunite with one of his Death-Eaters.  
  
Has the show goes off you could Neville crying in the back.  
  
~Fin~  
  
A/N: This will be a three episode story. If you like all three episodes. I will write more. So tell me what you think. P.S.: I really enjoyed writing this.  
  
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